The Grammar Police
They know best
Today, in a startling announcement that has shaken the literary world, the Grammar Police decreed that one new word, leai will replace all forms of lay, lie, laid, layen, layeth, lain, and laying.
“It's a problem of resources,” Chief Grammar Administrator Executive Director Gretchen Hollingwood acknowledged. “Our force is spread too thinly to enforce the Lay Lie Laid Lain Law.” With a grin, she added, “I bet you can't say that three times fast.”
Toward the end of the news conference, Punctuation News’ correspondent blurted, “This is a waste of time. I could care less.”
Hollingwood ordered the reporter’s arrest.
This is a centina, a story that’s exactly 100 words.
If you enjoyed The Grammar Police, you might like another 100-word story of mine, The Blanket War.
What we take for granted as an American English speaker is really complicated, no lie when it is lying there laid out in front of you.
Haha, I loved this, Bill. I was chuckling all the way through! (I thought about typing “threw” but thought better of it. I don’t need the Grammar Police on my tail!) 🤣