Excellent story, Bill! I could see this as an episode from The Twilight Zone, or Spielberg's Amazing Stories. I'm happy to see you've still got the bug to craft short stories. The world is a better place with your fiction.
Thank you for your kind words, Brian. I'm delighted you enjoyed The Odometer Man. I had fun writing it (and wasn't sure how it would end until I got there.)
I wondered how this could possibly end in the space of a short story. I'm in awe of the way you kept it simple and gave it such fitting closure. Every detail fit: even the wife having a share in both the crime and the punishment. Masterful.
Wow, Bill, that was really good. I fell completely into that story, even forgot for a few minutes that it’s 80 degrees in my house while I wait for AC repair.
Thank you, Janet. It's high praise to be able to take somebody's mind off the heat. (We cleaned our AC's filter this morning to prepare it for the broiling day ahead.)
I knew something was up with that 1952 Ford Custom. but I didn't expect the ending. Talk about karma. As ye sow, so shall ye reap--right back to 1952. I love the symmetry of it. Thanks for the ride, Bill.
I'm glad you enjoyed the ride. I had originally used a different car and different photo, but I needed to send Mark back further in time and was happy to find this classic car photo.
Cool story... I could feel the retribution coming. One day I should tell the story of these guys I met on a trip. who rolled back the odometer of their company car so the boss wouldn't know they'd taken it from Paris to Greece!
It was a comedy skit, lol. They didn't mess with the counter, that car had a quirk, if you hit a certain number and then drove in reverse for a while, the thing rolled back. Pretty hilarious. Especially as they hit THE number at night on a narrow Greek mountain road!
Was Sidney telling the truth about his son being hit by a drunk driver? Because if he was, then there’s two people responsible for the son’s death; Mark and that driver. If Sidney was willing to send Mark back in time, I wonder what he’d do to the person who directly crashed into his son.
Bravo, Bill… well done! I particularly liked how you eased the reader into the criminal antics… your technical details sold the legitimacy of the thievery. I also enjoyed the innocence within the “Ozzy and Harriet” relationship displayed between the married partners in crime… a real nice contrasting touch👍.
Excellent story, Bill! I could see this as an episode from The Twilight Zone, or Spielberg's Amazing Stories. I'm happy to see you've still got the bug to craft short stories. The world is a better place with your fiction.
Thank you for your kind words, Brian. I'm delighted you enjoyed The Odometer Man. I had fun writing it (and wasn't sure how it would end until I got there.)
I love a story that surprises even the writer.
Thank you, Tara!
Right on!
I wondered how this could possibly end in the space of a short story. I'm in awe of the way you kept it simple and gave it such fitting closure. Every detail fit: even the wife having a share in both the crime and the punishment. Masterful.
I'm delighted you enjoyed The Odometer Man.
I'm often torn between writing a full-length story and keeping it short, speeding toward whatever ending the characters earned.
The Odometer Man was fun to write and (surprisingly) fun to edit, too.
Wow, Bill, that was really good. I fell completely into that story, even forgot for a few minutes that it’s 80 degrees in my house while I wait for AC repair.
Thank you, Janet. It's high praise to be able to take somebody's mind off the heat. (We cleaned our AC's filter this morning to prepare it for the broiling day ahead.)
An ingenious act of revenge...
Thank you, David. I agree. :)
I knew something was up with that 1952 Ford Custom. but I didn't expect the ending. Talk about karma. As ye sow, so shall ye reap--right back to 1952. I love the symmetry of it. Thanks for the ride, Bill.
I'm glad you enjoyed the ride. I had originally used a different car and different photo, but I needed to send Mark back further in time and was happy to find this classic car photo.
Cool story... I could feel the retribution coming. One day I should tell the story of these guys I met on a trip. who rolled back the odometer of their company car so the boss wouldn't know they'd taken it from Paris to Greece!
Wow, that's a wild story. (I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to roll back an odometer.)
I'm glad you enjoyed The Odometer Man.
It was a comedy skit, lol. They didn't mess with the counter, that car had a quirk, if you hit a certain number and then drove in reverse for a while, the thing rolled back. Pretty hilarious. Especially as they hit THE number at night on a narrow Greek mountain road!
You have to love old cars. The things you could do with them were fun. (And I miss my cassette player!)
Damn.
Was Sidney telling the truth about his son being hit by a drunk driver? Because if he was, then there’s two people responsible for the son’s death; Mark and that driver. If Sidney was willing to send Mark back in time, I wonder what he’d do to the person who directly crashed into his son.
Time travel raises so many complicated, maybe unsolvable, moral questions. It’s a good thing we can’t actually travel in time.
It’s good to know there are still wizards around capable of sending bad people back in time.
Right?
Back in the past is a perfectly good punishment for a lot of crimes.
Except then they know the future and can use it for evil. 🤣
What a story… I really enjoyed it… payback can be harsh… really, a phenomenal ending!
Thank you, Donna. I wasn’t sure how this story would end until I started writing it. I’m glad you enjoyed The Odometer Man.
Wow! I couldn't have imagined how it ended. I loved it!
Thank you, Christina!
Great story, Bill. Well-written, with a nice twist. Just the sort of thing I love.
Thanks, Thomas. I enjoy writing and reading twisty stories.
Bravo, Bill… well done! I particularly liked how you eased the reader into the criminal antics… your technical details sold the legitimacy of the thievery. I also enjoyed the innocence within the “Ozzy and Harriet” relationship displayed between the married partners in crime… a real nice contrasting touch👍.
Thank you Conrad. Mark Crane is one of my favorite characters. I'm glad you enjoyed The Odometer Man.
I love your suspenseful short stories! This one had no clues about what was coming so I won’t give it away. Thank you for another treat, Bill!
Thank you very much, Elyse. It took several drafts to get the ending right and I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Wow. Excellent.
Thank you, Teyani!
Good story, Bill. I did not see that coming. Karma. Pacing and suspense work well. Nice work!
Thanks, Bob. I enjoy karma (not for me, of course ;)).
Just wow! Great twist!
Thanks so much, Freeq. I'm glad you enjoyed The Odometer Man.
I am enjoying all your stories. You have a gift.