Still or Sparkling Water?

Some choices are too many choices

Hope asked her dinner guest, Will, if he wanted still or sparkling water, and Will replied, “still,” and then she queried if he desired ice or no ice, to which Will answered, “ice,” followed by a question about if he preferred a straw or drinking directly from the glass—“no straw,” he affirmed—after which Hope inquired whether he would like a tall or squat glass, and at that moment he sighed and shot her.

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The challenge of writing one-sentence stories is capturing somebody’s entire life between the story’s first letter and the one and only period. The one-sentence story is a fun literary form, and I hope you like Still or Sparkling Water?

I’m recovering from covid, and a super-short story is also easier to prepare while I’m moaning and groaning and pursuing ibuprofen.

My eighth-grade English teacher would have insisted that Still or Sparkling Water? is a run-on sentence and should be axed into two, but putting the entire tale in a single sentence imbues the story with breathlessness and continuity of motivation.

If you enjoyed this story, I think you’ll also like my one-sentence tale, The Uber Eats Delivery Driver.